The Dumb Rush To Publishing My First Book

There’s a photograph somewhere on my old phone—me holding the first physical copy of my debut novel, tears streaming down my face, grinning like I’d just won the lottery. Mistake! That moment felt like the culmination of a lifetime dream. I was finally a real author with a real book.

If only past-me could see what was coming.

The Intoxicating High of Holding Your First Book

Nothing quite prepares you for the feeling of holding your first published book. The weight of it in your hands. The smell of fresh ink and paper. Your name embossed on the cover. For three years, this story had existed only in my mind and on my laptop screen. Now it was tangible. Real. Permanent.

I’d spent eighteen months writing that manuscript. Another six months editing, revising, crying over plot holes, and restructuring entire chapters. I’d invested in a professional editor, a stunning cover design, and proper formatting. I did everything “right” according to the self-publishing guides I’d devoured.

Except for one thing.

One catastrophic, soul-crushing mistake that almost made me quit writing forever.

What Happened When I Rushed

Here’s what happened: I finished my manuscript in January. By March, I’d completed edits. My cover was ready by April. And in my naive excitement, I hit publish in May.

I thought speed was success. I thought getting the book out there quickly was what mattered most. After all, I’d been working on this for so long—why wait any longer?

What I didn’t understand was that those extra months I “saved” by rushing would cost me years of regret.

The Brutal Reality: What Happens When You Publish Too Soon

The launch was… underwhelming.

I’d imagined notifications flooding my phone. Reviews pouring in. Messages from readers who couldn’t put my book down. Instead, I got silence. Deafening, soul-crushing silence.

But the low sales weren’t even the worst part. The worst part was knowing, deep in my gut, that my book wasn’t really ready. In my rush to hit publish, I’d:

• Skipped the beta reader stage entirely because I was too impatient
• Ignored my editor’s suggestion to cut 10,000 words of unnecessary backstory
• Published without an advance review team because I didn’t know they existed
• Launched with zero marketing strategy because I assumed “good books sell themselves”
• Had no author platform, no email list, no social media presence—nothing

The Emotional Aftermath: When Your Dream Becomes a Nightmare

The months after that failed launch were the darkest of my writing life.

I’d lie awake at 2 AM, obsessively refreshing my Amazon dashboard, hoping for just one more sale. I’d check my book’s ranking compulsively—watching it plummet from the 200,000s to the millions. Each day without a sale felt like confirmation that I wasn’t a real writer. That I’d wasted years on a dream that was never meant to be mine.

The shame was suffocating. Friends would ask, “How’s the book doing?” and I’d mumble vague responses, change the subject, feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I stopped mentioning I was an author. I stopped writing altogether for six months.

The most painful part wasn’t just the failure—it was knowing it was preventable. If I’d just been patient. If I’d just done things properly. If I’d just given myself and my book the time we deserved.

The Turning Point: When Failure Became My Teacher

About eight months after that disastrous launch, something shifted. The acute pain had dulled into a persistent ache, and I had a choice: quit writing forever or figure out what went wrong and try again.

I chose to learn.

I spent the next year not writing a new book, but building what I should have built first:

• An author platform: I started a modest blog sharing my writing journey—the failures, the lessons, the messy reality of being an indie author
• An email newsletter: I began with 3 subscribers (me, my wife, and a bot). A year later, I had a few hundred real readers
• A social media presence: I joined writer and reader communities, not to promote but to genuinely engage and learn
• Genre expertise: I read 50+ books in my genre, studied what worked, understood reader expectations
• Marketing knowledge: I took courses, read blogs, joined author groups, learned about Amazon algorithms and book promotion

Most importantly, I revised that first book. Properly this time. I implemented all my editor’s suggestions. I hired beta readers. I rewrote entire sections. I turned it into the book it should have been all along.

The Second Launch: A Redemption Story

Eighteen months after my catastrophic first launch, I republished that same book under a new title with a new cover.

This time, I had just started my email list with who’d followed my journey and genuinely wanted to read it. I had an ARC team of 30 readers ready to post honest reviews on launch day. I had a marketing strategy, realistic expectations, and a community of fellow authors supporting me.

More importantly, the reviews started coming in. Real, thoughtful reviews from strangers who’d been moved by the story. Readers emailed me about characters who’d stayed with them. Some even asked when the next book was coming.

That was the moment I finally felt like a real author.